Shame is very common for an alcoholic, nobody grew up saying they wanted to be an alcoholic or drug addict. It has no discrimination who this afflicts. When it comes to age and financial class, we are all free game. It is no fault to someone who is unable to think themselves out of this seemly hopeless state. Who can stop a fast moving training with one hand? It feels impossible to stop for an alcoholic in the mist of this train wreck. It may sound strange to a normal person but for an alcoholic it would be easier to comprehend going to prison for an extended time or to die. I have known many that has been faced with the dilemma and could not choose sobriety due to the state of mind and feeling of impossibility. Not a moral issue!
Early sobriety has a way of bringing up every shameful event that the alcoholic did to their family's and friends. How do we deal these memories gives staying power to the person who really wants to stay sober in spite of their past. The most important thing is not to pick up a drink or drug no matter what! The basics are important, and first things first is not drinking no matter what. Every day you stay sober is a living amends to your children, family and friends. Make that enough! Over time we change, we become more aware of others and become helpful and available. Not everyone will forgive or forget or even understand. That is ok! It is up to us to understand this malady that we have and it is up to us to be spiritually fit in order not to go back to that insanity. Every day we choose to be sober, a useful member in society is success! We now become a worthy person and most of us give back to the new struggling alcoholics and now we feel useful, worthy and confident. This is now our new reality! We can not change the past and it no longer defines us when you say so!